


Season of The Fry

by narwhalpuppy



Category: Futurama
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-16
Updated: 2016-03-16
Packaged: 2018-05-27 03:47:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,108
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6268351
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/narwhalpuppy/pseuds/narwhalpuppy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lives are turned topsy turvy when the Planet Express gang are invited to a Writers Guild Gala in Washington.  Fry is asked to give a speech about the book he wrote, then he is lured away by two covetous authors who interrogate him to the extreme.  Farnsworth and Zoidberg are stuck waiting for Fry to come back.  Bender and Hermes are on the run from a lunatic hasbeen stand up comedian.  Leela and Amy get a phone call from a sinister voice who urges them to follows clues.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Season of The Fry

Futurama presents, a Narwhal Puppy Production.

 

Season of The Fry

 

* * * 

In Professor Farnsworth's bedroom where everyone is meeting. They are all listening to Fry read a book. 

"After they saved their friend from having his youth drained out by the Raven King. The Five Knights reclaimed the orb and got that appleberry for that potion. They were leaving Ravenswood for good. Peace has been restored in the Milky Way Kingdom again. The End." Fry was reading from what was a book that he wrote. Everyone clapped. Bender on the other hand was watching two drops fall from a thawing beer bottle. 

"Wonderful, Fry! Never really give you credit for much!" said Farnsworth. 

"Encore Encore!" exclaimed Zoidberg!

"More good news, it even got published!" said Fry excitiedly.

"That was a wonderful story book you wrote, Fry. Sounds like it could be the next Lord of The Rings." said Leela. "you know, that generic stuff." 

"That's what I was striving for!" said Fry. "And to think I only went to college for three days!" 

"Didn't know you had a knack for writing!" said Amy.

"Well, there's more to me than just a delivery boy, homies!" said Fry. "What did you think, Bender!?"

"Care to share a little light on this subject, Bender?" asked Leela. "Fry achieved an accomplishment here! Support would be nice." 

Bender stood up and cheered fooling people into thinking he was cheering for Fry, when he was really cheering for a drop on the bottle going faster than the other drops on the bottle.

"Score one for FRY!" screamed Bender.

"See? Even Bender is happy for you, at least I think he is," said Hermes.

Farnsworth gets out an envelope and a fruit basket. The fruit in the basket was shaped like letters Farnsworth reads the letter from the envelope.

"All because Fry got his book published, we're all invited to a Writers Guild Gala in Washington DC. Since I'm a relative, they give me this fruit basket!" 

"Get my new novel! Season of The Warlock!" said Fry. "Never thought in the thousand years I was frozen that I will be able to say that!" 

"Washington DC! That's where all the governement workers are!" said Hermes.

"Hope I will be able to afford to go, " said Zoidberg.

"Don't worry, it's all expense paid!" said Farnsworth.

A fruit fly was going to land on the fruit basket which has Bender all vigiliant.

"Washington DC! This is so electricifing!" said Amy.

"I'm supposed to give an acceptance speech, too. Hope I don't get cold feet." worried Fry.

"You will be amoung all the other famous fanasty authors, too. It will be good for you to be around smart, intellegent, intelectucal people for once, Fry." said Leela.

"So, what do you all say, we going to Washington"? asked Farnsworth.

"YES!" everybody answered expect Bender.

"What about you, Bender! Coming to DC with us, too?" demanded Farnsworth.

"Everyone wants to support me in the big moment!" WORD!" cheered Fry.

Bender continued to stare at the fruit fly. The fruit fly landed on an apple that was shaped like a D and a banana that was shaped like a C. "DC HERE WE GO!" cheered Bender. So, they headed into the Planet Express ship and flew to Washington DC.

* * *

The Planet Express crew has made it to the Writers Guild Gala. The authors who were there are: J.R.R. Tolkin, Ray Rodenbury, Edgar Rice Burroughs, William Shatner, James Patterson, John M. Ford, George R.R. Martin, Stephanie Meyer, Steig Larsson, Dan Brown, Raymond Chandler, and Daphne du Murier, Lisa Gardner, Cassandra Clare, Susanne Collins, and Veronica Roth. The authors were all heads in jars. Everyone else had movable manniquins. Expect George R.R. Martin who looked like a dragon. Veronica Roth had a crawling machine as a body. 

"Sure is an expirence to mingle with these famous authors." said Leela.

"Never thought I would be so lucky to be involved in this!" said Fry.

"It's always been my dream to be around famous people! Taking some selfies of myself with them so I seem cool," said Bender as he ran off.

George R.R. Martin and Veronica Roth approach the crew.

"Hey, we know you! You guys write Game of Thrones and Deivergent!" said Amy.

"Correct. So you're the newcomer, Philip J. Fry. Nice to meet you," said George R.R. Martin.

"What are you here for," asked Veronica Roth.

"Oh, uh, my book got published and I was invited to give an acceptance speech," answered Fry.

"Hope you get the noterity you deserve," said George R.R. Martin. 

"Why do you look like a dragon, Mon?" asked Hermes.

"I write about them. When I died I wrote in my will that I wanted to have my DNA in a dragon. Now look at me! Alive and kicking!" said George R.R. Martin.

"All right, a little weird, but whatever floats your boat," said Amy.

"So when will Fry give his acceptance speech?" asked Farnsworth.

"It's in that next room over there. A luncheon will be held when it happens, it's coming soon." said Veronica Roth.

What the Planet Express crew didn't know was that George R.R. Martin and Veronica Roth had a neferious scheme in the works. William Shatner calls everyone into the luncheon room for Fry to give his speech. Bender is back from taking selfies of himself with all the authors. 

"Attention everyone. We all need to go to the luncheon room at once. So the newcomer Philip J. Fry can give his speech, thank you." announced William Shatner.

"Ohhh, this is it! Don't know if I'm prepared for this....." shivered Fry.

"Relax! You're going to do fine". assured Leela.

"Just picture everyone naked!" suggested Amy.

"You're good at doing deliveries, now deliver this speech, Mon!" said Hermes sharply!

"Don't have made us come here for nothing!" said Bender with a hint of grudge in his voice.

"Thanks for the vote of confidence, but it's not going to help!" shook Fry nervously!

"Think of all the food we'll get at this luncheon!" said Zoidberg happily as they all entered the luncheon room. Edgar Rice Burroughs reaches the podium. Everyone goes to sit down at some tables. Bender and Hermes sat in one, Leela and Amy sat at a table beside them, and Fry, Farnsworth, and Zoidberg were at the table in the front row.

"We are here tonight, because there is a newcomer who will hopefully become one of us. Like to introduce you all to the author of Season of the Warlock. Philip J. Fry. Give him a big hand. George R.R. Martin and Veronica Roth whisper to each other then leave the room. Fry reluctantly reaches the podium. Everyone but Bender and Hermes are cheering for him.

"SPEECH! SPEECH SPEECH! SPEECH! SPEECH!" chanted everyone. Fry approaches the podium and takes his stand.

"What up everyone. *ahem* good to be here tonight. Here to talk about my book, Season of the Warlock," Fry said as he delivered his speech. 

Bender and Hermes were talking. "Aww, dammit!" said Bender with displeasure. "What is your problem"? asked Hermes. "This is Washington DC. When I can be pilfering Presidential Monuments and selling them for cheap profit at the black market, I gotta be here and listen to Fry give a speech!" said Bender with a tone of whiny annoyance. "You have to be here to support him, Mon! Fry is your friend. How would he feel if you've abandoned him at his big moment?" said Hermes. "Can't we just do something else? Like something interesting or with action and suspense? Fry's novel sure isn't like that!" said Bender. "Know what? I don't want to be here either," said Hermes. "Now you're speaking my language!" said Bender, "But you're not coming with me! I'll have my own adventure in the land of Unlawful Acts and Mayhem!" 

A robot that resembled R2D2 comes up to Bender and Hermes. Did I hear you both say you don't want to be here?" the robot asked.

"We both said it," said Hermes. 

The R2D2 robot hands Bender and Hermes a pamphlet. Bender reads the pamphlet.

"What does it say, Mon." asked Hermes.

"Looks like we won an evening with Alonzo Jones. It's at the Dupont Circle Ampitheater Let's check it out, anything is better than this!" said Bender. "Guess you can't follow rules all the time, never cared a rap for Fry, anyway" said Hermes. Without a single thought, Bender and Hermes leave the luncheon. Fry was still stammering at his speech.

"Then one of the knights gets kidnapped by a Raven King......." Fry went on. He heard a *psst* sound. It came from the ground. George R.R. Martin and Veronica Roth opened a ground door and summoned Fry to come with them. 

"Hey, Fry! C'mhere!" said George R.R. Martin slyly. "We wanna talk to ya!" 

"Not now, guys! I'm in the middle of my speech" said Fry.

"This is not the place to give it. Follow us and we'll help you give a better speech" said Veronica Roth. 

Fry announced he was going away for a while, "Uh, something just came up. I might continue this speech in another room. Bye for now, I'll be back and sit tight." once Fry was done, he goes down the ground door with George R.R. Martin and Veronica Roth. Everyone talked in scattered whispers about why Fry suddenly stepped out. 

"Oh, no! We wanted to hear more of the speech! What's the reason for Fry to step out so fast? Where's the logic!" shouted Zoidberg.

 

* * * 

 

* * * 

At Dupont Circle, Bender and Hermes have reached the Ampitheater. It was now an abandoned and demolished building. Had an old sign on the marquee that read, "NOW SHOWING RIGHTOUS KILL STARRING ROBERT DENIRO AND AL PACINO". 

"Anything is better than having to sit through a human making a speech about something he didn't earn and doesn't deserve." said Bender. 

"Gotta say, I was quite bummed to be hanging around with you......" before Hermes can finish him and Bender both see how old and pulverized the old Ampitheater was. Awful sight this is! Look at this, Mon! THIS was the place we are supposed to meet this Alonzo Jones? Hasn't been opened since 2008!" 

"Looks like a Scooby Doo Ghost Town! Think that's bad, look at that movie marquee! *sigh* The two coolest actors ever to portray psychotic gangsters had to be reduced to doing a shit piss movie like that!." groaned Bender in disgust. 

"If this is what it takes to get away from Fry's speech," Hermes stated. 

As Hermes and Bender were about to go inside the abandoned Ampitheater. Bender suggests, "How about we break in and enter! We could get away with it! No one will see us! What do you say?" "No way, mon! We're going in the the normal way! One more suggestion to do something illegal or lawless then I am dragging you to see all the government places!" threatened Hermes. "Wouldn't dream of that, you Nasdaq, New New York Stock Exchange, Smith Barney crossbred!" bullied Bender to Hermes. Bender and Hermes finally enter and find a place to sit. Nobody was there. All they see is torn apart chairs, and a broken movie screen.

"Sweet Cotterpins of Wisconsin! We're the only ones here!" exclaimed Hermes.

"That's a real son of a bitch! Was hoping there would be more people here so I can start a riot in case this asshole starts sucking!" said Bender, "Guess I have no use for my golf clubs and baseball bats now!"

"Quiet Bender! Shhhh! Show some respect! It's about to start!" warned Hermes.

A black cyborg looking man shows up on the stage where the broken movie screen was. He had an a gallon hat, light brown suit with hamburgers all over it. 

 

"Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Whassup! Hamburger! I am the man of the hour! Hamburger! Seen you two got my pamphlet, Hamburger...." Alonzo Jones said in his opening act.

"What kind of jokes does this guy, do?" asked Hermes.

"Knowing him, probably the subject is growing up in the 'hood!" said Bender.

"Haammmburger! Are you both dressed up for Halloween? You're like a hamburger in a green business suit or something! You overweight, that's yo problem!" said Alonzo to Hermes.

"Loving this dude, already!" said Bender.

"You, robot there! You look like somethin' outta Nickoldeon! You a robot parking attendent or parking meter? *robot voice* who you call who you call who you call! Hammmburrger! You guys ever listen to the Top 10 countdown? Hamburger! Next up we have a song that's been number one for five weeks straight! Ring By Bell from The Jehova Witnesses! Hammburger! Arrested Developement! That show and band both need to be arrested!". joked Alonzo. 

"He insulted you, too Bender!" retorted Hermes.

"Tell you all what! How's about I just say, hamburger! Ready? Here we go: Haaammmmburger! Hamburger! Hammbbuger! Hamburger! Hamburger! Hamburger! Hammbuurrrggger! Ham-burger! HammBurrgeer!" 

Bender and Hermes were already bored and want to leave.

"This guy says Hamburger so much like a definitive loop ad nauseam like hell won't have it!" said Hermes.

"You tell me! This guy has just as much determination as Bernie Mac if he were on ecstacy having a hallucination that he's making love in a threesome with Ted Cruz and Mayor McCheese!" laughs Bender as he puts his hand out to Hermes, "Feed the chicken!" 

"Let's leave and go back to the luncheon room. "Suggested Hermes, he pinched his fingers in Benders hand.

Bender and Hermes sneak out of the Ampitheater. 

"If I hear that guy say hamburger one more time, I swear I'll...." before Hermes can finish, Alonzo Jones was behind them to confront them.

"What did you just say!" screamed Alonzo Jones, he was now acting tyrannical.

"What're you, a psycho stalker! Following us?" yelled Bender to Alonzo.

"You walked out of my act, hambuger! Now you both are going to see me up close and personal! Hamburger! You're both coming over to my house! Guess what we're havin' for dinner! You called it! Hammmbuuurggers!" demanded Alonzo Jones as he pointed his cyborg arm that had a gun on it at Bender and Hermes.

"We have to give in now!" said Bender.

Alonzo Jones was leading Bender and Hermes to his apartment.

 

* * *

In the Luncheon room, a huge panic occured when everyone noticed Fry went missing. Phantogram by Black Out Days was playing.

"I'm calling the police to file a missing person's report!" said Farnsworth running off. "My uncle may be a moron, but he's important to me. He's family."

Leela and Amy see Zoidberg eating the buffet in a frenzy.

"Can't help this! Lost all impulse control when everyone else is in mayhem!" said Zoidberg. 

"Don't worry, people! Calm down! We'll find him!" called out Leela. 

"That food was for everybody, Zoidberg!" yelled out Amy. 

Leela and Amy try to cease the panic, but nothing works. Leela's cellphone rings.

"I need to take this in the other room, so hang tight until we come back!" said Leela.

Amy and Leela leave the luncheon room and Leela answers her phone.

"What is this! What are your demands!" questioned Leela. The voice on the other end was a sinster mysterious sounding voice that neither of them recognized.

"Your friend Fry disappeared, right!" said the voice.

"Yes, he did! Is this a ransom thing!" asked Leela.

"No, if you want to see your delivery boy author friend again, you and the Chinese bimbo will have to follow these clues." said the voice.

"Caught me at a good time. In the mood for a challenge! What is the first clue!? There better not be any riddles!" said Leela.

"I'm good at solving riddles!" proclaimed Amy.

"No riddles, I promise you that. Your first clue is you both will go to the National Mall and fill up some bottles to 200 gallons! After you're done, we'll move onto the next clue! Be there!" the voice said as it hung up on Leela.

"Who was the voice and what did it want? asked Amy.

"Apparently, it wants us to fill up some water at the National Mall, we're going there." said Leela.

Amy and Leela took a flying scooter to the National Mall. When they got there, they see a huge gallon water cooler, buckets and some water nearby. 

"Should we get the water from the lake?" asked Amy.

"That's the only place that has it, so grab a bucket and go!" demanded Leela.

Leela and Amy work non stop to get buckets of water and they pours the buckets into the gallon water cooler. The scales read 20-30-40-50.

"We are almost to the end, keep pouring"! Ordered Leela.

"Doesn't seem like we're anywhere near 200 gallons!" said Amy.

"Patience Amy! Continue and Perpetuate!" said Leela. 

Leela and Amy went about their task, filled water from the lake with buckets. Filled up the water gallon cooler as it was approaching 70-80-90-100-120-150. 

"Look it's working! We're getting there!" said Leela. "Don't back down".

Amy and Leela rushed to the finish, their tensions were riding high. as they poured the last of the water into the water gallon cooler until the scale said 200. 

"There you have it! That's 200 Gallons!" said Leela proudly. 

"Between you and me, we can do anything" said Amy.

Leela and Amy were both breathless and sighed with relief. The cellphone rang again, Leela answered and it was the voice.

"We did what you told us to do! What now!?" yelled Leela into her cellphone.

"Good job, ladies. Now your next clue is to get Butterfinger candy bars from a Mom and Pop store then disarm a bomb in city hall, go now!" the voice said as it hang up.

"What does it want us to do now, Leela?" asked Amy.

"We're going to a Dollar Store and then we have to disarm a bomb in city hall." said Leela.

Amy and Leela move onto their next assignment to do for the voice.

 

* * *

 

Meanwhile at a duplex just above city hall, Fry was waking up on a couch. Fry walks into a kitchen and he sees George R.R. Martin and Veronica Roth eating dinner.

"Where am I! Is this is place where I have to give my speech. You said you both were going to help." said Fry.

"Do that when the time comes." said George R.R. Martin.

"Have dinner with us! It's not poisoned." said Veronica Roth.

Fry sits down to have dinner with them. 

"So, what works are you both known for?" asked Fry.

"My books Game of Thrones became a hit TV show." answered George R.R. Martin.

"Mine are called Divergent. It became a movie series like Hunger Games," said Veronica Roth. "My works are aimed at teenagers."

"What about you, Fry. What do you plan to do with your Season of the Warlock?" asked George R.R. Martin.

"Just have it be a novel and that's it." said Fry.

"We don't believe you!" said Veronica Roth.

"You're up to something! Something big, huge! Enormous, Immense! Something that will both blow up into something extremely popular!" said George R.R. Martin now he was getting paranoid. "It's going to be a movie, isn't it?"

"No, I am not searching for fame!" said Fry. "Wrote this book so people will know there's more to me than a loser directionless delivery boy, that was my motive".

"You aim to be more popular than us, aren't you.....FRY!" smirked Veronica Roth as she eyed him.

"You're turning your book into a movie? A TV show?" said a prying George R.R. Martin.

"Wouldn't know where to begin with that. Don't have the resources." said a worried Fry. "Why did you guys bring me here!"

"To get the TRUTH! We lure newcomer authors and question them their agenda to see if they will do more with their works to become more popular than us." said George R.R. Martin becoming more and more meddlesome by the second.

"Look! I am not going to talk because there's nothing to tell. Hey, you guys said you were going to help me with my speech! Remember you saying you're going to take me to a better place to give it. Why aren't you two doing that!?" said Fry.

"Dammit to bloody hell! He STILL won't talk!" raged Veronica Roth.

"Know how to get this goofy asshole to tell!" said George R.R. Martin who had an idea.

"You won't get me to talk!" laughed Fry. "Nobody can get through to me!

George R.R. Martin got out a whistle. "Fall in Troops! *blows whistle*" 

A bunch of people, robots, and aliens dressed in church choir clothes come out.

Veronica Roth cracked up laughing, "Oooooh! Not THIS again! Love it when you do this to new time authors!" 

"Are these people going to sing me to death!" asked Fry.

"There is more important things than your silly speech, Mr. Fry. Right George?" asked Veronica Roth.

"Correct. And no, Fry! Since you won't tell us the truth. We have something substandard in store for you. Something much much worse!" George R.R. Martin said. "Choir! Sing and GO!" 

The choir started to sing, "Wieners! Wieners! Wieners! Wieners! Go! Wieners! Yes! Wieners! Hooray Wieners! Wieners! Wieners! Wieners!" 

"NNNNOOOOOO!!!!" screamed Fry in fear.

George R.R. Martin and Veronica Roth both laughed disturbingly evil as the choir sang about wieners and drove Fry insane! Momentarily, flying police cars were scouring around Washington D.C. searching for Fry.

 

 

* * *

As two flying police cars whizzed by in hot prusuit for Fry in a suburb of Washington DC, Alonzo Jones was leading Bender and Hermes to his apartment skipping as Bender and Hermes were following him. Acting maniacally happy. Still blathering about hamburgers. Ulrika Spacek's She's a Cult was playing.

"*singing* Hey, there! Hammy Hammy Burger! Hammy Hammy Burger! I love you! Hey, there! Hammy Hammy Burger! Hammy Hammy Burger! I love you! *stop singing* Say listen, do you both know where I got my start?" went on Alonzo Jones then he stopped skipping. 

"No, and we gives a cats ptootie!" shouted Bender.

"Tell you anyways! I did my first stand up performance wayyy back in the 1990s called Def Comedy Jam! Or Comedy Def Jam whatever you want to call it. Hamburger!" Alonzo explained, he continued. "When I died, I got resurrected as a cyborg so I can live forever! Now look at me, hamburger!" 

"More like Comedy 'Dead' Jam!" laughed Hermes.

"Yes, or Comedy 'Got Killed In A Drive By Shooting' Jam!" joked Bender.

"Better one, Comedy "Pushing Up Daisies" Jam." giggled Hermes.

"Can outdo this one, Comedy "Got Killed In a Heroin and Cocaine Freebase Explosion" Jam! Yeah! Feed the chicken!" laughed Bender as he held out his hand to Hermes once more. Hermes pinches his fingers in Bender's hand. 

Alonzo Jones screamed ragefully, "SHUT UP! I'm the only one who can tell jokes around here! Nobody mocks Alonzo Hambuger Jones! Now come inside and listen to me talk about Hamburgers!"

Bender, Alonzo and Hermes all go inside to his apartment. They all sat at a table. Alonzo was becoming very madly insane. 

"I'm all washed up, hamburger! I need something to boost my career again, hamburger!" said Alonzo Jones frantically. 

"Sorry we can't help you there." said Hermes.

"Got a place where he can put his hamburgers!" said a frustrated Bender.

"This guy invited us, so please be polite for his sake!" said Hermes.

Bender and Hermes watched as they see Alonzo Jones take out a rotten hamburger out of the fridge. Hermes holds his nose.

"Nothing like a nice tasty juicy hamburger! Since you both ditched me in the middle of my act, hamburger, you guys are going to hear me joke, eat, and chitchat about hamburgers!" commanded Alonzo. "Also called you here to help me get my career back on track." he continued.

"Sweet Pigpens of Copenhagen! Don't you know you're supposed to keep hamburgers fresh?" exclaimed a shocked Hermes.

"Watched enough Elzar to know that!" said Bender. 

Alonzo was on the verge of a psychotic break as he was eating his hamburger. 

"Want to make a hamburger out of him! Cut off his ass cheeks, pull out his anal glands......" revved up Bender in an exsaperated way.

"Stop saying you're going to murder him! He can hear you and have a violent outburst on us!" whispered Hermes to Bender.

"If he does that, I will do an upheaval on him". said Bender.

Alonzo ate the hamburger and felt a cramp in his stomach. He moaned in pain. 

"Think I need to use the toilet! Hamburger! You guys stay here! Hamburger." said Alonzo. He was headed for the toilet and pulled down his pants to sit down. Bender and Hermes see this as a chance to get away.

"Price I pay for eating hamburgers!" stated Alonzo, feeling very ill and was about to go do his business. 

"He's in trouble, We should give him some water." suggested Hermes.

"Water my ass! I say we get the HELL out of here! Now that we have the chance! RUNNN!!!!!!" screamed Bender apprehensive and he and Hermes ran out of Alonzo's apartment in craven and timorous desperation. 

Seconds have past and Alonzo was chasing Bender and Hermes down the street with his pants down.

"HEY! GET BACK HERE! HAMBURGER! HAD A DIARREAH ATTACK AND YOU BOTH NEED TO CLEAN IT UP! HAMBURGER" Alonzo yelled after Bender and Hermes as he was chasing them. 

"LEAVE US ALONE YOU FANATICAL LUNATIC"! Called out both Bender and Hermes. "YOU'RE WASHED UP, GET OVER YOURSELF" shouted Bender back at Alanzo.

 

* * *

At a Mom and Pop store, advised by the voice whom called Leela, her and Amy both try to look for Butterfinger Candy Bars only to find that they're all gone.

 

"The man on the phone said he wanted Butterfingers, and there's none left!" said Leela.

"This is hopeless! Sploh my gosh! If we don't live up to his demands, who knows what could happen?" said Amy.

"Point taken, Amy." said Leela as they walked out of the Mom and Pop store and decide to try another.

"Check that place out. There's another Mom and Pop store, let's see if some are there." said Leela. 

Leela and Amy go across the street to find some Butterfingers at another Mom and Pop store only to find out that the store was out of Butterfingers, too.

"Oh, Lord! Doesn't get anymore pathetic than this! We're so busy trying to look for candy bars, I forgot what the next assignment was." noted Leela.

"I did, too. What were we supposed to do after we find these candies?" asked Amy.

"It'll come to us. Following the demands on a mysterious voice can make one absent minded". said Leela. 

"Want to try another Dollar store?" asked Amy. "If there are any."

From afar, at a grocery store, Leela and Amy see two kids running away on flying bikes who just shoplifted and the owner of the grocery store was running after them.

"STOP THIEVES! HALT YOU LITTLE DELINQUENTS! I'LL REMEMBER YOU". Leela and Amy ran over the the grocery store to stop the kids. The kids had bags of stolen foods with them. 

"Hold it right there, little street urchins! Shoplifting, huh? Federal offense! On your record forever!" asked Leela. Amy took the bags of stolen foods away from the kids.

"What pops inside you to do this?" asked Amy to the kids. Amy unloaded the bag and she saw potato chips, candies, gum, and found a Butterfinger. "Oh, what have we here! Butterfinger!" 

"That's cool, Amy! OKay, back to you brats! Is this worth going to juvie for? All this junk food?" asked Leela.

The kid said, "Look all around! The cops are too busy tryin' to look for some loser author who went missing!"

"Stealing a Butterfinger! GUH! Shame on you, little brats! Not even Bart Simpson would go this far!" said Amy to the kids.

"If you ever get arrested, you ought to get sent to Cookieville Minimum Security Orphaniarium! They'd love to have some criminal kids like you there!" said Leela.

"Chill out, one eye! Both you bitches, relax! It ain't no big deal! It's XMAS around here! You can steal city hall!" shouted the other kid to Leela and Amy.

Leela has an epiphany and remembers their next assigment to do for the mysterious man on the phone was to go to City Hall. 

"City Hall! Just remembered! Hurry up, Amy!" said Leela to Amy as they ran to find City Hall. Leela's cellphone rang again and she answered. "Hello". said Leela.

The voice says, "See you found the Butterfinger. Should've gotten it from the Mom and Pop store like I had asked! And for a split second you forgot the next mission! You both should be ashamed of yourselves!" 

"There were no Butterfingers left at those store! Any stop trying to scold Amy and I! Does it really where we got it? Why don't you spank us while you're at it! What is it you want us to do in City Hall?." said Leela over her cellphone to the voice.

"Disarm a bomb that is set to go off. If you accomplish and complete that operation, I will tell you who I am and where Fry is." said the voice as he hung up.

"Perhaps this voice who is calling you is Adam Levine's head!" joked Amy. "Get it!" 

"Yeah, you never know it could be! Or maybe Cee Lo Green or Carson Daly!" laughed and joked Leela. "Let's get to City Hall before we're all blown to bits! Leela said as she and Amy rushed to City Hall as they hastened to get there.

 

* * *

At the Luncheon Room, the authors were now in a riot and Farnsworth and Zoidberg were huddled together in fear.

"When will Fry be found?" sobbed Farnsworth.

"Ate all the food, Fry vanished without a trace, now look what's happened!" sobbed Zoidberg along with Farnsworth.

"Really hope Leela and Amy will come through!" cried Farnsworth.

"Not only them, Hermes and Bender are gone, too! How could this get anymore bad!" cried Zoidberg.

The riots continues as Farnsworth and Zoidberg were both crying their eyes out, and waiting for a silver lining to this situation.

 

 

Leela and Amy got out of a flying taxi and went inside City Hall in Washington DC. Leela's cellphone rings again. 

"Hello," answered Leela. "What are your instructions now?" 

"Good, you're at City Hall. Would you like to know where the bomb is"? asked the voice.

"Well, yeah! So I can discoboulate it!" retorted Leela.

"It's on the top floor, and as soon as you disarm it, I will reveal everything." said the voice.

"Pretty sure you've stated that before." said Leela. The voice hung up on her.

"Did whoever it was say where the bomb is?" asked Amy.

"Yes, it's on the top floor. We have no time to lose! Let's end this!" said Leela in a determined manner. 

Leela and Amy enter City Hall and go inside an elevator to the top floor. Once they arrive, they see an attic-like room where they assume the bomb is.

"This must be where the bomb is, let's try to look for it." said Amy. "Hope we can before we're all blown up to splingdom come!"

"Not going to happen. There will be no explosions of any kind! Not even shark-plosions!" said Leela.

Leela and Amy go around the room and try to look for the bomb with no luck.

"We looked everywhere! This asshole promised us that the bomb is around here!" said Leela.

"Let's face it, he lead us into a trap!" said Amy.

"Precisely, Amy." said Leela. She decides to call out, "All right you mysterious voice! We're right where you want us to be! Come out and show yourself." called out Leela.

As Leela and Amy try to look around for the voice, they fall through the floor. 

 

* * * 

 

Meanwhile, back in George R.R. Martin's place, Fry was still being mentally tortured with the 'Wieners" song until he finally gives up.

"Wieners! Wieners! Wieners!" the choir chanted. 

"PLEASE! STOP!! ENOUGH OF THE WIENERS!" screamed Fry.

George R.R. Martin commanded, "We have no use for you, come back when I tell you." to his choir as they left.

"Going to tell us the truth?" said Veronica Roth nudging Fry.

"HA! That was MY trick on you, freakos!" said Fry confidentely!" 

"What are getting at?" said George R.R. Martin.

"Pretended to give in so I can tell you that I have no plans to become more popular than you! Now you need to let me go!" 

"No No, that won't do!" said Veronica Roth.

"I know what you're not admitting! You ripped off from us, haven't you!" said George R.R. Martin!

"Yes, you maginificent son of a bitch! We read your book! You told us in this book what we wanted to know. Your book has Games of Thrones and Divergent influnence!" said Veronica Roth.

"No, no no! You're mistaken! It's an original work! I never watched Game of Thrones of Divergent!" said a cravenous Fry.

"You give us no choice, we're killing you! Out the window you go! We're doing to you what we did to Frank Herbert". Said George R R Martin. 

"You mean, the guy who wrote the movie Dune"? asked Fry innocently.

"Yeah, we killed him TOO!" cackled George R.R. Martin as he was going to throw Fry out the window.  
Leela and Amy land in the doorway to George R.R. Martin's place, then they break in.

"I WILL KILL YOU! I WILL KILL YOU!" screamed George R.R. Martin as him and Veronica Roth picked up Fry to throw him to his doom.

"This madness ends now!" said Leela. But it was too late, Fry got thrown out a window. As he was starting to fall, he managed to land on a flagpole. "OOOOOHHHH AAAAAHHHHHH" screamed Fry in a distance.

"Are you Veronica Roth and George R.R. Martin"? asked Amy.

"Right we are! You are just in time to have seen us kill your friend!" said Veronica Roth.

"You killed Fry? Why did you do that!" asked Leela.

"We suspected he was going to become more popular than us with some diversive plan. Then we found out he ripped us off!" said George R.R. Martin in a bitter rage.

"Fry had no intentions of ripping you off with Season of the Warlock! He doesn't even like your works!" Leela tried to convince them. 

"Oh, and by the way. I was the one that lured you here! I was the mysterious voice that called you, Leela!" said George R.R. Martin.

"Why in the world would you do such a thing?" asked Amy.

"Because only me and Veronica here are the only ones who can rule in the authors' world! Anyone new who comes along to be the best, like your friend Fry here, we lure them to their deaths and make their friends watch!" laughed George R.R. Martin evilly.

"You monsters! You'll face consequences!" said Leela as she and Amy were about to charge at them. Fry calls for help.

"HEELPP!! HEEELPP! I'm hanging by a flagpole! I'm not really dead"! said Fry. Leela and Amy ran to the window. 

"We're going to save you when we can, Fry. Hold on as best you can." said Leela.

"Don't know how much longer...." said Fry as he was losing his grip. "These wackos tried to kill me! I didn't copy them!" 

"All right, George R.R. Martin and Veronica Roth! We're going to make you pay for what you have done! Not only to Fry, also to anyone else you guys have hurt in the past!" threatened Leela.

"Oh no you don't!" said George R.R. Martin as he summoned his choir again with his whistle. The choir came out to try to sing the Wieners song to Leela and Amy. This time, they were not successful. Leela karate kicked and punched the choir and Amy was hitting them with a lamp. The choir was all knocked out!

"Hee Yah! Ki Yah!" screamed Leela when she was beating up the choir. Amy was hollering in Chinese.

"NO! My choir! My beautiful choir! They were the ones who used to tell people what Game of Thrones was all about! Wieners!" cried George R.R. Martin.

"Veronica Roth, splame on you! Can't believe I ever read your books once! Lost lots of respect for you!" shouted Amy. "Never reading any works from you again! Shailane Woodley was a poor pick for your films!"

"Oooooh, that hurt." Veronica Roth said sarcastically.

"If you two want to rule the authors' world, instead of praying on innocent newcomers, why you don't two *beep* fight?" suggested Leela to them. "What are you waiting for? Have at it!" 

"What? Us fight? Never"! said George R.R. Martin. 

"We're good friends!" said Veronica Roth. 

"Come on, allow me to give give you a head start! Hee-YAH!!!" said Leela as she karate kicked George R.R. Martin and Amy hits Veronica Roth over the head with a dresser drawer. Both were temoprarly knocked out. Leela and Amy scramble to save Fry.

"Help! Help! Guys, think I can't hold on much longer!" struggled Fry as the sweat from his hands was causing him to slip.

"We're coming! We're going to get you!" said Leela.

"Thank you so much! I owe you a debt! I love you so much right now, Leela!" said Fry in a panic. "If I get out of this, let's go on a date!"

"Sounds like a plan!" said Leela. Amy and Leela were tying a bedsheet from George R.R. Martin's bed and put it out a window for Fry to grab onto.

"Grab the sheet, Fry." called Amy.

Fry tries to grab the sheet, but he falls and screams. Leela and Amy are mortified. That was until they see Bender and Hermes run away from Alonzo Jones. Fry safely lands in Bender's arms.

"Fancy meeting you here, meatbag!" said Bender as he put Fry down.

"Thank heavens Fry is okay!" said a relieved Leela. "Glad he didn't get killed! Let's go down and see." said Amy.

Leela and Amy rush down to the bottom floor of City Hall to meet with Bender, Fry, and Hermes.

"You won't believe what happened to us, mon!" said Hermes.

"We got chased by some psycho stand up comedian!" said Bender.

"Amy and I went on a Die Hard style adventure that lead us to Fry." said Leela.

"Splah, we had to follow clues and do these silly tasks." said Amy.

"I got lured away by George R.R. Martin and Veronica Roth who wanted to know if I had a plan to become more popular then them." said Fry. "After getting killed, I am never writing again."

"Guess we all had wacky adventures here in Washington and to think we didn't have a run in with Nixon." said Bender. "Our situation was worse than yours!" Bender pointed.

Alonzo Jones runs up to the Planet Express Crew. "Hamburger! Hamburger! Hamburger!"

"It's that crazy, insane hamburger chomper who was stalking us, RUN!" screamed Bender. They were all about to run for it, Alonzo Jones wants to talk to them.

"No, don't run! Hamburger! Chasing you guys made me have an idea! Hamburger! said Alonzo Jones.

"You going to have people come over to your house and make them watch you eat burgers?" said Hermes.

"Nope, got just the thing to revive my career! Hamburger! This expirence with you dudes made me want to make a movie about it! Hamburger! I'm going to direct! Hamburger!" said Alonzo Jones as he walked off into the sunset with a friendly smile.

"That was weird. Can I go give my speech now at the luncheon?" asked Fry. 

Bender called for a flying taxi and they went back to the luncheon room. Farnsworth and Zoidberg were still there waiting. Fry gave his speech about his book and the horrible expirence with George R.R. Martin and Veronica Roth. Everyone clapped for him. 

"Good job, Fry! You were awesome!" exclained Farnsworth.

Months later, back in New New York, Fry, Leela, Bender, Hermes, Amy, and Zoidberg see a Redbox machine and a movie poster. The movie poster had caricatures of the Planet Express Crew running away from hamburgers. The poster read, "Washington Hamburgers! A New Comedy From Alonzo Hamburger Jones." 

"Awww son of a bitch! That Hamburger sold us out!" said Bender.

"There was nothing we could've done to stop him from making a movie." said Leela. "I'm not insulted by this at all."

"Neither am I." said Amy.

"At least he finally found another calling, mon"! said Hermes.

Fry was looking at the RedBox machine and found a DVD called Season of the Warlock based on this book. It was an anime.

"Talk about selling out! They turned my book into an anime. Didn't want that to happen. It was supposed to be a book and nothing else." said Fry sadly. "Oh, hell. I love cartoons, anyway". Fry was now okay with it as was smiling to have realized what he had accomplished.

"You had no idea what hell it was to have had to wait admist that panic in the luncheon room!" said Zoidberg.

Bender reads the poster closely the fine print says, "A Special Thanks to that Hilariously Snarky Robot who inspired me to make this movie, 'Bender'. 

"Still mad about it, Bender? He had every right to make a movie...." said Leela.

"No, actually Alonzo gave me a special thanks! Selling out is awesome! Feed the chicken!" said Bender very enlivened as he put his his hand. 

"Feed the damned chicken, everyone! He's been on a toot about that back in DC!" said Hermes as everyone pinches their fingers into Bender's hand. 

"Bender, you haven't changed a bit!" laughed Fry.

"Wouldn't want him any other way!" said Zoidberg.

"Isn't it great we're all better people now after what happened back there?" asked Amy.

"Let's all go see what and where the Professor wants us to go! Hopefully, not back to Washington!" laughed Leela.

Things may have seemed bleak for the Planet Express Crew for a while. Now everything has turned out great for everyone in their own way. They all have a laugh as they head back to Planet Express.

 

The End

 

The preceeding has been a Narwhal Puppy production


End file.
